homosexuallyfrustrated

1st May 2012

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It’s hard for me to believe things are going to be okay.

I can’t get men to like me. My most significant relationship in 6 years lasted 4 months. I can’t buy a house. And, I didn’t get the job. 

Thanks world. Thanks a lot.

27th January 2012

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Writing workshop

Received some really good and very positive feedback on my non-fiction piece last night. I am very excited now. It was well received and I’m told it was quite vivid and real. I’m thinking I may post it (changing names of course, although I couldn’t care less about protecting the innocent at this point).

19th January 2012

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Today’s writing workshop…

I used work as an excuse to skip the workshop on Tueday. It was a half-lie. According to my creative writing instructor, when you’re dealing with creative non-fiction sometimes telling lies is part of the process of writing. I wrote her an email, it included a lie or two, and voila there’s creative non-fiction.

Today’s workshop taught me something new. I never want to be a writer. I never want to take another course with this horrible, self-centered, angry woman either. 

That said I’m seriously doubting myself this quarter. I’m tired of these required courses. I know, I’m complaining yet again.

I need to get started on my non-fiction piece. How does one write and create an environment on paper where you hook the reader in and make them realize they’ve just read something they’ve never read before. Instructor is big on answering the question (and I quote, with caps), “SO THE FUCK WHAT?” She’s intense sometimes.

13th January 2012

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Writing workshop

As part of my Bachelor’s degree, I’m required to take a creative writing class. There are things about the California public education system which I will never understand. First, the need to take a full year’s worth of foreign language when foreign language is not my chosen major. Second, the requirement to take so many bullshit classes like arts, history, physical education. If a student knows what he or she wants to study then let a student take the classes necessary to prepare him or her for that career path.

That said, my creative writing workshop is taught by a very strange woman. Are all writers this strange? I don’t know. Her wardrobe choices and her sense of fashion bother me. She is, otherwise, pretty cool.

So my first assignment is a non-fiction short story. In class yesterday we broke out into groups (our workshop groups) and discussed our very earliest memory. My earliest memories are a blur, quiet honestly. Peter, a member of the group, brought up that he wasn’t sure if what he has as memories actually count as memories because he was given photo albums full of photographs that constructed memories for him. This rang true for me as I have blocked out much of my youth. I care not to look back on those days, as formative for me as they were.

My earliest memory seems to be the birthday cake I dropped in the back of the car. This is a story idea I want to flush out for my non-fiction piece. I want to write about the incident from my mother’s perspective, however. The thing about this is I have to show that I learned something about the incident and I’m not sure how to demonstrate I learned something if I’m writing in the third person. That is to say, I’m not sure how to do it — if it is even possible — given my limited writing tools. One of the things I took away from that incident was my ability to over compensate for that incident by learning how to bake and always being a perfectionist about it. I’m in some way trying to earn my mother’s acceptance through the years, and definitely now even after she passed away.

Other ideas I am flushing out for my non-fiction piece: my father’s death, my father’s funeral, rejection (my parents passing away, my best-friend rejecting me on the day of her wedding, my brother moving out and my sister moving to Arizona all in the span of 3 months).

12th January 2012

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Annoyed

I’m sick-and-fucking-tired of seeing hipsters (most of you are wannabes anyway) and skinny jeans. Just go the fuck away already, will you?